YEARS OF WISHFUL THINKING...?

It has now been 2 1/2 years since my sister passed away. I find myself feeling pain at my loss of her every bit as acute as it was the day I was told she had passed from time-to-time but not nearly as often as I felt the pain back then. Thank goodness it is not a feeling I feel everyday but it does happen to me often enough to know I am not at all through with this session of the grief process. Sometimes someone who look like her from a distance or from behind, a smile like hers, her favorite scent, a song she liked, some random thought of her, a poem she recited to me, a book she recommended I read, a movie she like talking  with me about or some scripture she would often quote...all of these and so many more like them can often send me hurling back into that same painful place I found myself in 2 1/2 years ago when I first heard that she had passed away! I remember everything that happened the day  I heard she died; who was there with me, what I was doing and what they were doing.

 

I read a book many years ago, The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion, which led me to believe that this painful time would only be about a year long. I am here to state that in my experiences with death and loss, especially related to my sister who was such a dear and close friend in addition to being my sister, that time related to grief and loss are as unique and different as each one of us are from one another! Joan Didion may have found herself in her painful state of "Magical Thinking" for about one year but after 2 1/2 years I still sometimes wake up, think that it has all been a very bad dream, hope she will call me tonight and/or when I open my inbox in my email account I hope to find that most desirable letter from her amongst all of the spam. My "Year of magical Thinking" continues on yet!

 

I found it very painful to receive very little comfort from the members of my church congregation but found much comfort from my immediate family, a few extended family members and some very sweet and loving close friends. A good support system has been very important in helping me to go through all of the different stages/steps of grief. (7-10-13)

Now as I approach the fourth year since her passing I feel quite differently now and I can state that I am no longer in any "Year of Magical Thinking". Oh I do miss her dearly and every bit as much as I did the day I heard of her passing but now I can speak of her name with a smile and more often than not without a trace of quiver in my voice nor a mist in my eyes. I do so still wish she would call me on some lonely Sunday night or that I might find a letter from her in my inbox but I know these things are not going to happen. I love wearing a few articles of clothing that were hers that still fit me as the others too large for me were given to close family members and friends. I have to deliberately relive some of my memories of her in odd quiet moments so I can visit her in my thoughts but even now I find these odd moments are happening less and less. Last year at the anniversary of her death I was finally able to enjoy Halloween for the first since her passing...so I know that I am moving on. This year her birthday was a short and sweet walk down memory lane and without tears. What does keep her alive in my heart every day now is that I must get back to working on our book, hers and mine. (7-13-14)

Now

 

       WEIGHT LOSS DIARY

JANUARY 2013

This month I weighed in at 235 lbs and it scared me to death, not really but it was very frightening! Over the previous months I had come to realize my weight was creeping up more and more every year and if I didn't do something about it I might find myself topping the scale at 300 lbs...OR MORE! So  I began to exercise portion-control and found myself losing quite a lot of weight! 

FEBRUARY 2013

This month I weighed in at 227 lbs, 8 lbs less than I did last month...yay! Other than portion control I did nothing else to lose weight but somehow found it disturbing nonetheless because later on in the month I found I was losing more weight and to me it was all much too mysterious! So I decided I needed some help with my weight-loss goals so I went to see my doctor because I felt too much like a ship without a rudder or a map!

MARCH 2013

I weighed in at 220 lbs this month and even though I am excited to lose an additional 7 lbs. I have scheduled an appointment with my doctor. When I went in I told him all of my health concerns including my weight concerns i.e. hypothyroidism, pernicious anemia, joints (including right hip, both knees and my back) and all the diets I had been on over the years, none of which worked for me. I submitted to several tests, lots questions and some personally painful comments such as "You are morbidly obese!" I had to tell him the truth about everything and two weeks later the results were in and it was confirmed that I am morbidly obese...ouch! He then told me I should go on a diet and he recommended Atkins. He explained that all the other diets I had been on were high-carbohydrate diets which was probably why they did not work for me but this time the low-carbohydrate diet will probably work for me. So this month I began a new eating lifestyle and went shopping  for several Atkins books, new food choices and to sign up to join Golds Gym.

A few days later I was eating only a few low-carb vegetables and some other foods considered by Atkins to be fruits...avocados, olives and tomatoes, get real! I am also eating dairy and meats, which I enjoy very much but thought I couldn't eat because I thought I was lactose-intolerant! I have begun noticing a really big thing about my body almost right away....my face began to clear up some but not from eliminating dairy because I eat lots of dairy everyday. I suspect my face is clearing up due to eliminating grains. I had a lot of problems with wheat and corn when I was small so perhaps I will focus in on them first when I begin to add the whole grains back into my diet.

APRIL 2013

I weighed in this month at 214 lbs. a loss of 6 lbs. I am going down in weight each month! In spite of all the foods I am eating! I am excited to lose more weight each month and I feel better. When I lose 15 lbs on my new Atkins diet I get to begin reintroducing whole grains one at a time and some additional fruits and I have only 1 lb. to go!!!! I am rather enjoying my stint eating a few fresh vegetables, cheeses and meats but most of all I enjoy finding creative ways to enjoy and combine my limited choices. I cut cucumbers very thin and use them as chips to dip into some of the many different flavors of cream cheeses! I roll up cucumbers with yogurt dips into a thin salami or pepperoni for my version of food roll-ups...yum! I stuff sweet peppers with sour cream, chopped sweet red onions, chopped pepperoni and a few black or green olives...so divine! 

MAY 2013

I weighed in this month at 209 lbs and I began adding one whole grain at a time and some additional fruits to my diet! My first grain to begin eating is wheat. It only took 2 days of eating it to realize it was going to be a problem for me if I continued to eat it so I immediately began to start eliminating it from my diet! I have to read labels like I am a detective solving a serious murder mystery and I can tell almost immediately when I have eaten something with wheat in it because the pains in my gastric system are excruciatingly severe and the explosive gas is almost as painful as the colon spasms! I cannot trust anyone but myself to detect the wheat in any given food because no one else seems to care as much as I do that I am no longer eating wheat, or wheat products! I have had friends and family both offer me things they assure me has no wheat in it later to find out it did! So now I am extremely suspicious of any food and anyone bearing any food...I don't trust anyone unless they are a gluten-free dieter or food unless the label states gluten-free or I can see that it is gluten-free!

JUNE 2013

I weighed in this month at 205 lbs and again I am excited though my weight loss does seem to be moving onto more of a slope nonetheless I am happy to have lost another 5 lbs. I am still working on eliminating wheat and adjusting to the loss of it. I am hoping to eventually be able to walk through a bakery and not touch anything, taste anything or buy anything...we shall see! My husband is not overly helpful and I would not call him a diet buddy. He is pre-diabetic and he brings home pastries, breads and other wheat temptations, does not join me at the gym either nor will he take a walk with me!

JULY 2013

I weighed in this month at 203 lbs. I am excited I lost and did not gain and so now I have lost 32 lbs since January! I continue to struggle with my addiction, attachment and preoccupation with wheat and wheat products! I long for a toasted bagel, a hot dog or hamburger or sandwich on a bun, bread or roll! I long for cheesecakes, brownies, waffles (even though I don't like them very much!) and the list goes on and on seemingly endlessly!

AUGUST 2013

I weighed in this month at 200 lbs and I am thrilled beyond thrill to be finally at 200 lbs because it has been more than 10 yrs since I have been at this weight! I still struggle daily with wheat wishes and I even dream of wheat confections and other bakery delights! I cannot say that it is getting easier but I am still extremely determined to conquer it because I know I feel better when I do not have any wheat in my system, so I will continue to stay away from the horrible grain that brings me so much indigestion and pain! 

SEPTEMBER 2013

I weighed in this month at 204 lbs and even though I am gaining I have finally conquered wheat. I can walk through a bakery and not touch, taste or buy anything with wheat in it. I am coming to enjoy rice crackers and other gluten-free products. I know I can live without wheat for the rest of my life and I will be okay because I know I am pain-free! I did so well going off wheat that I have begun to go off of corn. I am finding it such an easy go because I spent all those previous month mentally pining over wheat and struggling without it that I don't have to do the same with corn!

OCTOBER 2013

I weighed in this month at 204 lbs too and I am continuing to do well without corn. I occasionally slip but mostly I am doing well. When I slip I just focus in on my body to know how the corn is making me feel and what I have found is that I might be able to eat corn treated with lime, the way the Mexicans and Native-Americans do but I won't re-introduce it back into my diet until I am done eliminating various food.

NOVEMBER 2013

I weighed in this month at 204 lbs again and I recognize that I must be on some kind of plateau. It's okay because I am learning things about me and my sell-control and about my body's responses to various foods. I have now successfully eliminated both wheat and corn from my diet, with minor glitches related to discovering hidden grains after the fact.

DECEMBER 2013 

I weighed in this month at 204 lbs!

JANUARY 2014

I weighed in again at 204 lbs just like in December! I'm struggling with hidden wheat!!!! It seems to be in everything, food, snacks, fast foods, toilet paper, napkins, paper towels, wipes, toothpaste! I feel overwhelmed at times and even though I feel such gastric distress whenever a consume anything with wheat I feel the effects of it personally whenever I look in the mirror and see my face broken out again, reach inside my ears to scratch finding a sore, rub my eyes to find them crusty again and many more such trivial complaints that add up to extreme nuisance and aggravation because WHEAT SEEMS TO BE IN EVERYTHING!!!!

FEBRUARY 2014

I weighed in at 200 lbs this month...yay! I still do not have a handle on controlling the wheat that doesn't go into my mouth but I am getting a little better at it. Today my face look fairly good. I discovered a toothpaste without wheat in it and for the first time in my life I brushed me teeth to find afterwards my mouth didn't hurt and the next day I did not have sores in my mouth. No I have not been brushing my teeth everyday because of the intense pain doing so has caused to me but I brushed last night, this morning and this afternoon. As soon as I get home I'm going to eat and brush again; and perhaps I will brush before I go to bed too...anything might happen now that I have found wheat-free brushing!!!! I'm getting the feeling I just might succeed with this new eating lifestyle---sans the wheat!!!!

I should probably address some of my NEW YEAR'S GOALS. First I must state clearly I do not like resolutions, never have, still don't and likely never will! I am watching everything I put into my mouth and am proactive about checking out places before I eat anything there. So I now know that few places are okay for me to eat at...Wendy's Baja Chili Salad is a plus because it is wheat free and I enjoy the fries there; O'Charley's has a steak salad I find delightful but I have to eat oil and vinegar on it; I do not eat at McDonald's or KFC or Arby's because almost everything there at both places is filled with wheat (so why bother?); and, I do still enjoy tacos at Taco Bell and the beans. That's about it. My husband brings salads home to share with me from Papa Murphys, the Greek Salad, and the Spinach Salad from Kroger, yum-yum!

I make my own tuna salad, chicken salad and such because I cannot trust anyone else but me to make it right. I eat Johnsonville gluten-free sausages, Udi bakery products, rice crackers and rice cakes which state gluten-free on them and others. I do not drink much soda anymore maybe once or twice a month, if that often. I have found there is no reason for me to give up dairy because cow's are not a problem to me but I do prefer goat and sheep milk products if I can get them. I read labels on all dairy products because many of them have wheat in them...which is a really big no-no for me! I do not long for wheat bakery items such as buns, bread, rolls, bagels, cookies, cakes, brownies, pies etc. because of how they make me...TERRIBLE!

Unlike folks with Celiac Sprue, I can eat Kamut, which is an Egyptian wheat. It gives me no problem at all; in fact my Kamut flakes were eaten up my oldest granddaughter who liked it so much better than any other cereal she had ever tasted! Humm, that makes me think alot about the taste of GMO wheat as well as the effects of eating it, at least to me. Maybe it is not good for everyone...not just me?

MARCH

I now weigh under 200 lbs. I see my scale bounce around in the range of 196-199 lbs range. This is something I have not experienced for many years; I fit in smaller clothes; and, the clothes I currently wear fit better. I cannot afford to replace my clothes but they are much more comfortable with my smaller physique! I cannot see my weight loss when I look in the mirror, likely because I gain weight evenly all over my body but I do like seeing my fairly new jeans begin falling down off of my hips during the course of a day.

I am still struggling with hidden wheat but the really difficult thing that happens when I go off of wheat for any length of time is that I become more sensitive the next time I encounter hidden wheat! My body responses become more pronounced after any length of time without it! I really do not know how well I am doing eliminating wheat from my diet other than the fact that slowly my weight is creeping down but my face, eyes, ears, nose and other places are still clogged-up most of the time, except when I eat natural foods for a week or more then everything begins to loosen up ie my face clears up from the sores, redness goes away, along with the heat the redness generates, my ears produce less wax, the scabs in my nose go away, eye grit lessens and other more private systems lessen too. I'm having such a hard time embracing the fact that I am going to have to live without most of the sausages I love, KFC, rotisserie chicken, Jr Whoppers, sweet rolls, donuts, croissants, bagels, saltines, hotdogs,  hotdog buns, luncheon meat, sandwich bread, and so many other foods I enjoy! I do feel better without them because all the pain goes away when I stay away from them and I lose weight faster when I stick with eating foods that I can see the ingredients in...foods with only nature's foods in it! I'm not there yet.

APRIL 2014

I am still struggling with hidden wheat and finding it everywhere. I weighed in at 204 lbs.

MAY 2014

I am still struggling with hidden wheat and again finding it everywhere. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and am sinking into an eating depression. I weighted in at 205 lbs.

JUNE 2014

This month I gave up and ate anything I wanted to. Wheat is everywhere and now I'm not so sure it is only wheat that is my problem but other grains as well. I had planned to go back on the beginnings of Atkins but I was laid off and now I cannot afford it. As soon as I get another job I will begin at the beginning again. At the beginning of this month I weighed in at 205 lbs. It is nice that I am still wearing smaller clothes, those that I was wearing in the winter months of 2012, but when I took a look at myself in my full length mirror I could see that I still have the same proportions of fat. I went online at the direction of a former co-worker to find the details of the Paleo-Diet and found that this diet is pretty much the same as the O-diet (ER4YT) except that all meats, all vegetables, all nuts/seeds, all beans and all grains are all allowed. This month is going to be my time to regroup and develop new strategies and a completely different game plan in my goal to move, get healthy, eat right and lose some weight. 

As I went back today to edit my past entries I noticed something very important that I forgot and something I learned very early in my Atkins diet---that wheat immediately caused me problems upon reintroduction back into my diet and the same with corn and rice yet I continue to eat them. My biggest problem I suspect is that I began eating processed foods again which seem to me to be black holes of undisclosed  ingredients many with ambiguous names like spices, natural flavorings, artificial flavorings, natural colorings, artificial colorings and are just as likely fillers! I feel it is time for me to get back on track with my original purpose in pursuing this new eating lifestyle, to eliminate a laundry list of bodily complaints. So this week I am getting back on track even though I am currently no longer employed and so don't have very much money to buy what I need but nonetheless I press forward! My thoughts on any future goals for the New Year had to be eliminated too because I went on and on about fighting with hidden ingredients! These hidden ingredients are not part of my goal because I will again eat foods in which I can see what they are made as they will all come in nature's packages! 

JULY 2014

I have been holding my weight at about 200-210 lbs. My weight will occasionally dip down to 195 lbs. which gets me extremely excited but unfortunately my weight does not stay there! I have been battling grains for months, not just wheat, and have come to the conclusion that all grains are mostly not good for me but I love to eat grains so much!

AUGUST 2014

I continue to battle grains and now I have come to understand my face problem may not be grains or may not only be grains...so I am still holding my weight around 195-210 lbs. My face breaks out and I continue to maintain my weight whether or not I eat grains. I am as confused about it all as I have ever been.

SEPTEMBER 2014

I continue to battle grains and now I have come to understand my face problem may not be grains or may not only be grains...so I am still holding my weight around 195-210 lbs. My face breaks out and I continue to maintain my weight whether or not I eat grains. I am as confused about it all as I have ever been.

OCTOBER 2014

NOVEMBER 2014

DECEMBER 2014

GOALS FOR THE NEW YEAR

THOUGHTS AFTER MY GRADUATION

I never imagined how strong my feelings could be, especially upon graduation, but on May 13th I was filled with a combination of joy, pride, sense of fulfillment, thrill of accomplishment, peace, self-worth...and so many, many others! Even now I find it quite difficult to form or even find the words to describe how I felt on that most auspicious occasion. It was most amazing to me how I could feel so many feelings together at once! WOW! What a rush it was to me! On that day I would often find myself breathless with either unspeakable joy or morbid fear, and often both of those feelings at the same time! How could that be? I don't know! Perhaps it was, because of all the things I went through the day before and the day of and that night after, a release of sorts...? There was so much going on the night before--- i.e. bathing, laying out all of my things to help my graduation day go better and reviewing my schedule for the next day. I got up early the morning of my graduation at my scheduled time, got myself ready, had breakfast with my family, then helped my little granddaughters bathe and get ready. We all left the house on time and were able to coordinate my arrival at Indianapolis Convention Center with the arrival of my friends (so we would know where each other was.) We found a good parking space close to the center, etc. etc. etc. Upon arrival in the Convention Center, I managed to see both of my friends right away and right before the time I went into the hall where I would begin waiting for my commencement to begin. First we hugged each other and then we took a series of pictures of each other and had someone else take pictures of all of us together...it was great! Then I realized, WHERE ON EARTH WAS MY FAMILY???

Entrance to Commencement!

I found graduation to be one long line after another with an even longer series of waits...! I stood in the first line for over an hour just to sit down then wait again for another hour until commencement began! Once commencement began, I listened to several, less than interesting, speeches and one right after another however there were some parts of a few of the speeches which I listened attentively to but even so now I cannot recall one single part of any one of those speeches! So you might know how memorable they were too! I sat and sat, and sat some more and listened to the endless PU departments' accolades, from each department individually, and then the same with IU, my university, but this time I found several places where I could actually be involved in my won commencement! I stood up several times, for being a student who was/had been---*over 50 y, *transferred several times and over several decades (5 colleges, 41 years), *full-time, *graduating with honors...and there are possibly other categories I stood up for but  have forgotten. Upon arriving on the platform, shaking some Dean's hand...I was presented with a burgundy embossed leatherette cover instead of my diploma. I was later told that the leatherette cover should eventually hold my BSG/Bachelor of General Studies Diploma. Instead of my diploma there was letter inside addressed to me from the Dean of the department, the one who shook my hand. I was/am truly and sincerely honored!

Sitting in Commencement smiling way down the line of chairs!

Then I stood in another line for about 45 minutes just to sit and wait another 45 minutes BEFORE ANOTHER COMMENCEMENT BEGAN...the madness of it all! Even though this commencement was much smaller than the first and main commencement (this one with the Division of Continuing Studies which is the department I received my BSG from) yet it lasted the same length of time as the first commencement. The long time for this commencement was likely due to selected department personnel giving speeches and also hearing from each and every student from this department who received a Masters Degree...and a Doctorate! For me, I found this program to be much more interesting program than the previous one was.

Me giving a thumb up to my friend taking my photo!

Then we (my entourage included my husband, my daughter, my two little granddaughters, my two friends---one who also graduated with me---and her lovely daughter) all went out to eat at Bob Evans for breakfast. I enjoyed my day immensely and especially because I was surrounded with people who mean so very much to me, namely my family and a few choice friends, all who I love very much! The only other thing that would have made this wonderful day even better would have been if all of my family (my son & daughter-in-law, my husband's extended family and my extended family) and my other dear friends could have been there with me too---at my graduation and then again with me at Bob Evans eating breakfast for a late supper, all of us together! Nonetheless, my graduation day was a really great day for me!  

BLUE THISTLES!

I have loved thistles all my life...the subtle & distinct fragrance of them but most of all the tall stately beauty of them. I have also enjoyed the lovely large purply pink ones the most! Today while I was looking on Google looking for the perfect large purply pink thistle images to find the perfect one to embellish my blog with...I immediately became frustrated with the whole search process because all of the ones I liked would not fit in my box well. They were either much too large or much too small and then (just like Goldie Locks) I saw these blue ones and it was love at first sight! They were perfect in every way---thistle, blue ones...and the image I liked best actually fit in my box! You can see it just above this article.

For your enjoyment and mine...I offer to you a field of blue thistles to wave in the spring wind. I cannot imagine a better image for me to share with you to celebrate spring...at least not in my mind. Please won't you enjoy them with me?

Mother Teresa

I visited a blog today and while I was there browsing around I saw a quote of Mother Teresa's, the first one found here, and I was reminded that her quotes are worth remembering and sharing with others---they bear repeating over and over and over again, endlessly. Here are  some of my favorite quotes:

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you; be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.”

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” 


“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” 


“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”


“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” 

“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done.  We will be judged by "I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”

...and let me end with this quote...

“May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us." ...” 

And May God Bless Us Everyone!

URBAN PRANKSTER

Here is another piece of the urban prankster's urban art! Don't you just love the depth it has and the realistic feel to it. He painted it, that is why it looks so real!

If you like what I have shown to you thus far then you should visit his Blog! There are more things to see and enjoy that are greater than these two but these two are my favorites that is why I have chosen to share them with you!

CURRENT STATE of AFFAIRS in the WORLD

Current State of Affairs in Arena of Charitable Causes & Events  

by Khalfani King on Wednesday, March 30, 2011 at 7:28am

"There was a time when certain things were simple in a complex world. Things that could be chalked up to being done from the most basic instincts of human nature without any ulterior motive or need for speculation from the world community. Somewhere between a time when charity was as simple as pulling communities together for the purpose of helping a single person or a group of people and the current trend of popularizing million dollar celebrity events over the efforts of ordinary men and women who put their heart and souls into causes for the simple purpose of helping others; we lost our way as a society.

A way that had a clear voice for a call to action from each and every person on the planet has now become about simple dollars and cents without any concern about what we are doing as individuals. When raising money for causes was more about the purpose rather than the end game it instilled a special sense of accomplishment into all of the people involved and the world community as a whole.

What’s happening in modern society is much like the evolution of for profit industries where money has become the industry goal rather than the quality of the work. The goal that is accomplished by the very best and brightest minds of the industry that are spear heading marketing campaigns to rival most fortune 500 Companies with funds that could be used for the very same cause they are working to benefit. For their hard work and dedication there has been no trade in lifestyle or pay as lavish balls and celebrity filled gatherings absorb funds from donors while volunteers are asked to remain dedicated to the cause on the ground level. Every time the public is asked to celebrate a high dollar figure raised by a corporation or a donation accrued from a marketing campaign we must ask ourselves about the money and community spirit that could have been generated if their efforts were directed at involving hard working individuals as opposed to making a public spectacle out of their philanthropy.

When it comes to philanthropy we must demand more from charitable organizations, business leader’s big and small, celebrities and community activists in doing their part to inspire communities instead of making everything about the all mighty dollar. Companies and individuals who do good things will be rewarded in ways that are bigger than the amount of money that ends up in their pockets for doing so. The sooner we truly learn this as a society the faster we can begin to reach important milestones in fund-raising and raising awareness for important causes across the globe. There can be no argument about the way charitable fund-raising has evolved over the past 20 years.

How you view this change and how I view this change are two separate things.

Do you feel the corporatizing of charitable organizations has benefited the causes they are looking to benefit?"

Recently I have been both confused and frustrated by all of the chaos and unrest in the world today, particularly here in the USA and even more particularly with being told we are coming out of financial difficulties as a nation but then I see more foreclosures and for sale signs up in my own neighborhood, more foreclosures and real estate signs than before Stimulus Funds were used by President Obama to help out US banks and corporate, which ultimately paid them for their failures and for failing us---THE PEOPLE! Though my words are few I do know how I feel about all of this and I feel much about it all. The article above does pretty much sum it all up for me and then goes on to say so much more; the words here also state more eloquently than I would could thought to have said.

Thanks so much Mr. Khalfani King  for saying it all and saying it so well. I would have commented on your article but I do not do FaceBook. The link to the article gives much needed information about how Dracula Hedge Funds are hurting THE PEOPLE and how really serious unemployment is versus what is being reported by our government officials. I recommend reading it:
http://www.alternet.org/economy/151569/how_dracula_hedge_funds_are_sucking_us_dry_/

Women Suffer From Perfectionism More Than Men

The title to this blog is also the title of a great article by Joni Hilton at Meridian Magazine (link onto the title for the full article.) Thanks  Joni for sharing and dispensing words of comfort to all of us, women and men, who suffer from seeking impossible conclusions in our lives---striving for perfection in the here and now. I too have sought after that illusive butterfly of perfection to only find myself even more disillusioned from striving for that impossible dream of perfection. I have found more comfort, peace and inner solace in my life by settling for mediocrity. In fact I have found mediocrity has become my friend.

As a young mother many years ago, I found I got along better with my young children and my husband whenever I would do only what I could with the house during my days---i.e. fixing only the simplest of meals,  just tidying ups so I could spend most of my days playing and taking walks with my children, making time sit down with my children and watch whatever it was they were watching on TV and reading to them everyday. I found everything need not be perfect because ultimately it was not going to be with two small children up and about! It was impossible to even try to achieve any sense of perfection so why start?

All along the way through my life I have found I learned and gained more through making mistakes and failing than I have ever made striving for the impossibility of perfection.  Whatever happened to that adage quoted so often many years ago about ..."Living In Balance"? And what happened to that other adage also quoted so often many years ago about ..."Moderation In All Things"? Aren't these two adages just another way of stating there is wisdom for all through living a life of mediocrity? Also, why is it wrong to play and have a good time while balancing work and business? Didn't we also hear how "work and no play"made..."Jack a dull boy"? 

                                                             

I chose mediocrity in dealing my children because to me it was more humane and it felt good. I remembered how I always felt like such a failure as a child playing games with my parents and never once ever winning. I loved my children too much to do this to them; I knew my level of success with board games might overwhelm them, so I found a way to play with them fairly and to allow them the freedom to win by handicapping myself (like golfers do.) It was the same with our artistic endeavors such as coloring and drawing, at such a young age my children could not possibly achieve my level of artistic capabilities---so I chose to color what they colored, drew what they drew and complimented them every step of the way by praising their accomplishments however small because I knew each time they succeeded they had excelled remarkably and individually, for their ages and their unique capabilities. I worked hard on not comparing them to one another or to others they knew, and especially not ever to my husband or me.

Mediocrity and imperfection, as strange it might sound, should be embraced by us humans; as we all know, we are mortals and as such we are flawed & imperfect. Why shouldn't we become friends with these qualities---the qualities of mortals---i.e. mediocrity, imperfection and even failure? Aren't these qualities the bottom-most area just under the first rungs on that legendary Ladder to Success? How is it we forget this fact? If we do not become familiar with mediocrity, imperfections and failures first then isn't it true we cannot ready ourselves to even stand before the ladder and much less be able to climb up the first rung on that legendary Ladder to Success? Isn't it possible if we do not embrace mediocrity, imperfections and failures, we may find ourselves not even able to recognize any real successes in our lives, when we finally gain them, because we have not learned to love ourselves first---by embracing our mediocrity, imperfections and all of our failures? If all of this is true then isn't it also very important to not only embrace these ignoble qualities but to first acquaint ourselves with them? I believe the only way we can find ourselves on our way to the top of this ladder is to realize we made it up that ladder by starting on the ground first, not even on a rung. No one starts a journey up a ladder to the top who does not first start by standing on the ground under the ladder! Don't babies fail a lot before they can stand, then walk and later run? Think how the baby first becomes very acquainted with the ground before ever making any measurable progress....

I have done some research of my own and found Joni Hilton's statement---"women suffer this inherent human flaw more than men do" to be true. Also, I think older women should be extra careful to embrace their flaws and find ways to accept who they are, not only for their own peace of mind and good mental health, but also so they can set good examples of success to those younger women coming behind them. I speak from experience and as a member of the older set myself; I know younger women are actually looking up to us for answers and solutions---watching, studying and even imitating us. I believe they do this even though they act as though we are invisible to them and often treat us as though we were  worthless and useless. I believe if we can learn to accept ourselves for who we really are---valuable and useful members of society---then we will make not only our lives so much more trouble free to ourselves and much happier as well but also will make it easier for those younger women who follow after us mimicking us....even they might find some self-acceptance in the bargain too.

We live in a very materialistic world here in the US, so much more so than it was even just a few years ago. It is so easy now for most any woman, with a little piece of plastic and a small electronic device to order almost anything she wants; likewise with a small investment, depending on a woman's means and needs, she can change her looks, invasive or otherwise. If it is her wish to do so she can sacrifice her basic needs for love, companionship and familial fulfillment to make an extremely successful career and comfortable lifestyle for herself. Women of all ages and backgrounds can now make it on their own and even though it is my opinion these are very narcissistic means which often leads to only a false sense of peace and not even self-acceptance---nonetheless many USAmerican women today choose to follow along this path. Likewise women with no sense of life direction or little or no will to stand firm and strong can likewise find herself alone, a single parent without any means of family support or financial help and facing a very grim existence. We all have more than the choices we have placed before but only if someone tells us, shows us but better yet, if some leads the way for us! Life is more than merely a career, parenting, domestic chores, education and marriage AND SO---LET US not forget that we also have other choices in life that are actually the more important ones---i.e. self-acceptance, inner peace, joy and happiness. They make it possible to endure the hard times, the struggles and the difficulties which come to all of us even for those of us who live the successful and comfortable lifestyles. Let us choose today which paths we will walk on and especially to choose wisely to allow us to set better examples for those who follow after us.

I think talking about about our successes and failures freely and openly in front of younger women is a very wise thing to do because as they listen---which they will, even though they pretend they are ignoring us---perhaps by hearing what we have done they can learn better from their mistakes than we have done. Both our mistakes and successes taken together might make it possibly for them to figure out what is right for them to do---i.e. sex vs. virginity before marriage/relationship; careful selection of a life partner or companion, and/or possible co-parent; commitment and dedication to a marriage or a more solitary life-style; education vs family or both. Everyone has to ask themselves those hard questions at some point---whether or not to have a meaningful life or to scratch out an existence or use the "scratch and claw method "to achieving success. It always sounds so noble to stand up for the right, to do the right thing and/or to be a good person in-spite of incoming tides of anger, humiliation, indifference and/or ignorance but even so choosing to take the easy route and follow the popular crowd is not such a great place either. The Good Book says---let's not hide our light under a bushel but share it so not only we can find our way in the dark but others too can find their way as well.

I would like to end this posting with a poem I became acquainted with and very fond of in my youth---A Bridge For Him by WA Dromgoole (it has been appropriately adapted by me); it seems to be such an appropriate ending to this blog:

An old woman, traveling a lone pathway,

Came at the evening cold and gray,

To a chasm deep and wide.

The old woman crossed in the twilight blur,

For the sullen stream held no fears for her,

But she turned when she reached the other side,

And builded a bridge to span the tide.

“Old woman,” cried another traveler near,

“You are wasting your strength with building here;

Your journey will end with the ending day,

And you never again will pass this way.

“You have crossed the chasm deep and wide.

Why build you a bridge at eventide?”

And the woman raised her old gray head:

“Good friend, on the path I have come,” she said,

“There followeth after me today

A girl whose feet will pass this way.”

“This stream, which has been as naught to me,

To that fair-haired girl may a pitfall be;

She, too, must cross in the twilight blur –

Good friend, I am building this bridge for her.”

fotos for blog

SEE DICTIONARY UNDER "PUTZ" you know who you are!

"You know who you are. Your space and your time is more valuable than ours. Work never ends. You have chosen to extend your workspace into our public space. You feel the need to be online all the time. You need people to see that you have a laptop, what you're working on, and how ambitious you are. Or your thighs are cold. I'm here to tell you that the subway is an inappropriate place for you to create your latest PowerPoint presentation for your boss. It's crowded. It may be hot. And I'm sure that I don't need your elbows in my space as you're manipulating pixels or entering sales data into your spreadsheets. So, for the 30 minutes I'm on the train, please refrain from whipping it out, okay? Thanks."

DOES A SEA SLUG HOLD THE ANSWER TO WORLD HUNGER?

"Nature is so beautiful and strange and most of it we haven´t understood or even seen. This sea slug eats sea weeds and takes up the chlorophyll. With that it can then generate power by using photosynthesis. It also harnesses some genes from the plant matter to make its own chlorophyll basically becoming a plant-animal hybrid. It can then live for days off the sun without the need to feed itself. Crazy...."

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn16124-solarpowered-sea-slug-harnesses-stolen-plant-genes.html
http://www.crome.org/wp/2008/11/green-sea-slug-is-a-plant-animal-hybrid/
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/01/green-sea-slug/

 

Just think of the possibilities here---we  could go to the beach to swim, surf, walk in the sand, play with the kids and soak up some rays AND WHILE WE ARE SOAKING UP THE RAYS WE ARE ALSO EATING AT THE SAME TIME! Going to the beach or just laying out on the lawn would be a cost-saving event! How convenient! How economical! We could all become fat cats!

Yellowstone Super-volcano

Here are some reliable websites for staying posted with latest information about the Yellowstone Super-volcano right here in our own backyard, here in North America! One expert stated, "The Yellowstone Caldera may look pretty, but you don't want to be on the same continent when it blows!"
http://volcanoes.usgs.gov/yvo/
http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14499-yellowstone-supervolcano-is-only-lukewarm.html

On Finding Carmen Sandiego

Don't you think this Carmen Sandiego is perhaps older than she was when she appeared on TV? Or am I just imagining it? Oh well, it doesn't matter now because we know where she is and what she really looks like---and not that Hollywood made-up replica!


Since I found Carmen Sandiego, do you think perhaps now we can concentrate on finding that Waldo character? 

OOPS! Perhaps I found him too.

MY NEW YEAR COMPLAINTS

COMPLAIN- to express grief, pain, uneasiness, censure, resentment or dissatisfaction; to find fault. However the affects of complaints on the people who make them, or the people they are made to, is nonetheless quite excessive.

"When a person complains they are expressing their lack of knowledge and understanding for the problem they are faced with. Voicing complaints is a way of iterating the need for help, in an informal manner. Some link the informality of the question and the nature of the person who said it. People who are self-centered have trouble voicing the problems with a situation because of their fear for inferiority. IT seems that the feeling of inferiority and self-centeredness go hand and hand."

A lot of people here in the USA spent the first few days of this New Year trying on "New Year Resolutions" that they think will be quick fixes for the ills of their lives and it is my opinion that these resolutions usually never work. Personally, I have found New Year resolutions do not fit well nor do they sit well with most people, including me. Resolutions are often dropped very soon after they are made and I am often quite amused by the fact that people still make them year-after-year. I think resolutions are as pleasant to make as it is to begin a diet and I think that somewhere in all of the mess of dieting can be found the reason resolutions are never successful for most people, it is the DIETING VERSUS LIFESTYLE DILEMMA---resolutions never seem to be chosen by anyone with the idea of changing anything, certainly not a precious lifestyle! So come spring most people and their New Years Resolutions will part company and those pesky resolutions will become a distant memory.

Sometime in December I recently came up with what I think is a brilliant idea. I wanted to start out my New Year WRONG, without the resolutions. (I like the sound of that, a New Year Without Resolutions, it sounds like a great title for a book.) I also began to think about how this coming New Year I wanted to get my negativity out of me at the beginning of the New Year and not wait latter. I felt that by doing this I might be able to pave the way for a much better New Year throughout the whole year long....of course this  brilliant idea is completely from my perspective. So here goes as follows, my long laundry list of complaints....

Complaint #1

I love to shop and if I could find a way to make money shopping I would certainly do so...because I live to shop. I like---the hunt and the smell of new things! I get an almost-aphrodisiac effect from the whole experience---looking at catalogs and ads, writing out lists, driving to stores, looking for a parking space, eating out while shopping, hunting for the items on lists, and leaving  the stores with  all of my purchases. What I don't like about shopping is a useless store clerk, rude cashiers, narrow aisles, elevator music, what I want is on the tippy-top shelf, etc! I despise them all and there are few exceptions! It is my opinion, most sales clerks and cashiers are no longer interested in their customers. Sadly enough it is a long-gone-era when most store personnel catered to their customers and thought the "customer was always right" and soon it will be forgotten by those of us who can still remember this time period after we "go the way of the world".  Often I cannot find anyone in a store to help me when I need help and when I don't want help I will often find someone annoyingly following me around. Finally when I lay my items up on the counter is when I experience the worst of all behaviors from a cashier, the cashier who rings up my purchases without even acknowledging my presence. To me this is the worst possible way to be treated by anybody, as though I was invisible! Usually these types of cashiers will talk back and forth with one another while ringing up sales, talking about customers, boyfriends, sex, doctor visits, etc. which is rude in my book. I have experienced it all BUT as I like shopping so much I put up with these horrible sales personnel. 

 Complaint #2

I have found that going out shopping has become more enjoyable with the age of ATM cards! I think the  invention of the ATM machine and ATM card is monumental in facilitating the quick spending of cash  on shopping events. Who knew that shopping could become so simplified and streamlined as it has become because of a little ATM card! Isn't it awesome, great and so convenient too! As I mentioned in Complaint #1 I despise shopping personnel, well I equally despise bank personnel. With the invention of the ATM machine and its equally awesome ATM card, I have now become freed of  bank tellers. I have not had many positive experiences with them though some of them are not half so bad as those thoughtless store personnel but  nonetheless terrible. I have had snide remarks made publicly about both me and my account, i.e. calling someone else to come forward when I was obviously the next person in line; and I was once called "Sir!" when I came to my bank in full camping attire. One time I came to my bank to close out my account (the teller was friendly enough) I went through all of the steps to close my account. The teller then gave me documents to sign. As I left I was confident all was done to close my account but sometime later I received a call from the bank inquiring into whether or not I had desired to close my account because I still had a balance in my account! Imagine that! The ATM machine and the card have now made it possible for me to do all of my banking business and rarely have to see a human face (and internet banking is equally awesome) unless I have to close my account again!

Complaint #3

I find myself from time-to-time in a line waiting to purchase items in some store. I find that the store clerks and cashiers are often too much to deal with and then I have to also endure standing in-line long lines with people on their cell phones discussing very private issues in public, and even intimate ones.
 Top Ten Most Annoying Cell Phone Habits

 I personally think that some things should not be discussed in public---i.e. which pad or tampon to buy (AND WHY!); latest pap smear results; which condom is best (AND WHY!); best sex position; what someone's Mama or boyfriend did to her; whether to spit or swallow after giving your husband, boyfriend or whatever, a...well... you get the picture don't you? I do not know why it is that some people, usually women, think cell phones come with a sound-proof chamber attached....FYI they don't! I would prefer to stand in the line in the quiet listening to people talking softly with one another but not listening to cell phone conversations that really should be private.

Complaint #4

I want to offer some words on bullies and bullying--- JUST STOP IT! STOP YOUR BULLYING!

Why would anyone who has ever been ill-treated, abused, and hurt in any way ever want to inflict that same kind of pain on someone else? Also, am I the only one that has thought that perhaps children who are bullying others are ACTING OUT? I think that children who are bullies are demonstrating the same mean behaviors that were demonstrated to them by someone previously and usually done to them by someone else, often a much larger person---like an older teenager or an adult. Could it be that those persons looking to root out the source of bullying behaviors might be looking in the wrong places, looking at the wrong people? I think that the source of bullying behaviors will be found in the homes of the bullies, in the communities where the bully has grown up and also in the schools the bullies have gone to---look at parents, community sports &amp community coaches, school principals & coaches, school counselors, school nurses, school teachers, church leaders, scout leaders, tutors and any other adults that regularly interact with children. I do believe emphatically that the source of the problem of bullying does not rest with a child, or with any child. I think all bullies are children mimicking what they have seen done to other children and/or what has been done to them. I think children who are bullied often become bullies themselves because it is a cry for help and unfortunately no one has been hearing this cry for help from most children for too many years in the past and right on into the present. We need to wake up and really look at the problem of bullying and think outside of the box for the answers. Targeting bullying children for the past 50 or more years has not solved anything so it is time to stop seeking answers in this direction. I think that schools will often punished children for this behavior without thinking through the problem thoroughly and adequately---maybe this is because they really do not want to find the problem, they do not want to find a solution and it is also so much easier to blame a child or children for the problem and then they can get higher authorities off their cases and get onto more important things but what is more important than a child in a school for children? And don't we think that not finding a solution in our lifetime only complicates matters worse than they already are? So what do we do about it?

I think the first step is that we must start to be kinder to the children, and treat them well regardless of their poor behaviors, regardless of their backgrounds and regardless of their educational abilities because often what a bully really needs and is seeking is someone to understand  validate what they went through and then to realize they have a safe friend to talk to---only after this has been established can a child feel safe enough to begin making a connection with someone, hopefully someone who could set a positive example for him/her, someone who could make a difference for good in his/her life.I believe love and kindness are always better ways to reach children than Zero-Tolerance, which in my opinion was permission to abuse children.What might have happened at Columbine High School before the year 1999 if someone had reached out with love and compassion to those  boys in the Trench-Coat Mafia? We will never know because it seems as if no one did, not even their parents, and now it is just one really sad tale and it led to so many other shootings in other places. Like the song from the 60s repeated over and over and over again..."what the world needs now is love, sweet love, no not just for some but for everyone...." I have long disagreed that "learning was never intended to be fun". Could this simple statement have been a excuse for decades to abuse children and to teach them to bully? 

Complaint #5

As I was walking this morning, I noticed again for the millionth time (I love exaggerating) that young people today have not learned very well to walk on the right side of a walkway, a sidewalk, down a hall or practically ANYWHERE THEY WALK! While I was walking slowly hoping to be able to pass soon I came to realize there was no place for me to go. These young people wer not paying any attention to the fact that they were approaching me and that I had no where to go but in the snow! I chose to go in the snow and as I did I hear snickers behind me as I they passed me! I realized they had seen me and I decided then to never allow another group of young people to force me in the snow. I now will play chicken with them if I have to to maintain my place on the sidewalk. I will not veer from my course.

Complaint #6

One morning this semester I was walking to class today with quite a large supply of items stuffed into two pieces of rolling luggage (one for my regular school supplies and books; the other one with art supplies for oils class), a small tackle box containing art supplies for my drawing class and a large art portfolio. I was walking in the snow and upon approaching the building I noticed some men were shoveling snow. I thought "Hallelujah!" but when I got up to the building I noticed they were only shoveling places marked for handicapped people but not where someone like me might walk. I said something to them. I told them that handicapped people would not roll their wheelchairs across the parking lot nor would they go toward the stairs because their ramp is further down and away from the walk (AND AWAY FROM THE HANDICAPPED DOORS---how much sense does that make?) All of  these details became more abundantly clear to me as I approached the ramp and thought about how all of this handicapped plan had been put together by an absolute idiot! I thought---Why couldn't there be two handicapped ramps, one on either side of the steps? (-one for those with canes and one for those in wheelchairs or scooters.) Also, when a handicapped person opens the doors there on the side of the building the button on the outside of the building is right there along the left as one enters the building, which is convenient enough but once inside the button for the inside door is wedged between the window and a magazine rack with less than a foot of clearance on either side---not at all a good place for the second button. Also, I don't understand why the handicapped door is the one on the right when the buttons to engage it are on the left. Finally, there is only one handicapped entrance to this building and yet students in scooters, in wheelchairs and with canes come from the other side of the building too but there is not handicapped entrance in the front of the building, or on the other side of the building. This would be a big problem only if this were the case for all the walking students but because they are problems for handicapped students---well, it becomes a moot point/matter. There is only one elevator in this building too and as such it also serves as a service elevator too---so the quilted pads are up all the time. When I ride an elevator sometimes I need to hold onto the rails but in this elevator the rails are rarely visible let alone available to us.

Complaint #7

I often find myself on the expressway on the exit ramp when someone behind gets impatient then begins to honk at me but I can do nothing at that point because I in line with no place else to go; I must slam on my breaks to avoid an accident and then this BOZO somehow cuts in in front of me! I of course allow this  because I do not want to get killed trying to defend my place in line. Everyone in line to get off the expressway are usually traveling about the same speed. Even though we are not bumper-to-bumper nonetheless a description of packed-in-like-sardines does seem to fit the situation.  So when people start driving like this and in numbers? I consider this driver to be using his/her vehicle as a WUD/Weapon of Urban Destruction. I am often passed by many WUDs traveling in the morning don the way to school and then again in the evening on my way home. I do not like WUD drivers so I slow down for them and try to give them a very wide berth because WUD drivers are usually armed with only cappuccinos, mochaccinos, caramel macchiatos, etc., for breakfast, very little sleep and a fierce need to be first in everything (including being first in line, any line).

Complaint #8

First I must say that not everyone who is handicapped has declared themselves handicapped nor is everyone who is handicapped in a wheelchair. I am handicapped because of congenital birth defects that left me with poor joints and with age they have become almost unmanageable. I am still mobile but I cannot walk up and down stairs nor can I walk great distances, which is impossible to deal with when elevators and escalators are not functioning and I miss my campus shuttles.

One morning when I was going into a building on campus to go to my art class, with a bag in one hand and the handle of my Pullman book-bag in the other hand. As I approached the building I pushed the handicapped button, I then waited for the door to open. Upon opening the door released a steady stream of youth  who came bustling out of the building using my door and not the other one. I had opened this handicapped door for me not only because of my heavy load but also because I cannot open the doors very well due to their heaviness. I watched helplessly as this herd of capable young people left building while I was trapped on the wrong side them (I could not get into the building through the other doors either. Also I might not have minded all of this behavior on such a warm day but it was a particularly cold day that day, around 10-12 degrees Fahrenheit. At the time I particularly tired from walking close to one mile to get to this building from my previous class because I had missed my campus shuttle bus; my joints ached extremely from the long walk and the cold chill of the day; I needed to get off my feet and get into the warmth of the building.

Most of the young people here on campus at IUPUI are lovely people and the young people I so often  encounter on campus and in the art building are lovely people, even the young people but on this particular day I had the chance to meet some who were not quite so lovely. After this event I have been thinking seriously of getting my handicapped parking stickers, state and campus.

Complaint #9
I have some major complaints about women's clothing and I hardly know where to start---Bra Complaints---

so I will start with a foundation garment---THE BRA. I am rather large busted but am petite in height. All bras I have ever worn do fit me around my chest and the cup size is right but the bra cups put some of my breast tissue under my arms. I need a bra that fits around, the cup size fits as well but also the cups are oriented out front of my chest where my breast actually are, like they most bras would fit a tall women or girl. I went on-line to see if there might be others with similar problems and if there might be a solution to this problem. I did find others who have this same problem, also short women, but the only solution offered ion-line is to buy a demi-bra, the push-up kind. I am not at all well pleased with this solution to my problem.

Pocket Complaints

I have also found over the years that there are rarely ever any pockets in women and girls clothing and if there are they are pockets, they are too shallow, made of flimsy fabric, fit wrong on the clothing, don't look right when the garment is worn or there are no pockets at all.Why is this? Most women and girls (at least the ones I know) want modest, practical, serviceable clothing (ones which wear well and long, stays clean and crisp, launders easily and does not shrink, fade, fray or unravel), in practical colors (as well in the "fru-fru colors," such as raspberry sorbet or cherry cordial) and with deep pockets in all of them (i vote to have them in underwear as well---bras and panties---for hiding money or other things). II think it is unfair that men get sturdy serviceable garments, made to last with long-lasting dyes, of good weaves while women and girls are stuck with clothing that falls apart before the season is through usually after the first wash where upon it looks hideous and fits abominably (if it ever looked right at all or fit right).

Where are the same clothing rights for women that men have been enjoying for centuries? Why shouldn't blouses, dresses, slacks, socks, stocking and tights have extra fabric---in the bodice; in the abdomen; in the rear; in the thighs and/or calves? A woman or girl should be able to walk out of her house in a skirt and have it be the same length in the back as it is in the front BEFORE SHE BEND OVER! In my opinion, it is ridiculous that this wonderful country cannot produce for women and girls---good fitting slacks, well-fitting suits, well-fitting and fully lined dresses, adequate well-made and comfortable fitting blouses, a good fit in stockings for all great-short-tall-small and the same in shoes. I won't mention the state of women and girls bathing suits in the US! Only in America can the fashion industry cater to the smallest (smallest size as well) percentage of a population---some of these clothes are really ugly and they wouldn't even make decent rags to clean my house!

 

Complaint #10
I found this article on the internet which explains my complaint better than I can:
They're Driving Me Crazy! Monday, October 13th, 2008

  t Second & Spring

Here in Indianapolis this is rude act by drivers, creeping into the pedestrians crosswalks, is called GREENING. I too find this act more than bothersome because I too know how scary this can be to a pedestrian but not only that can be harmful to everyone around if an accident ensues. Any driver doing this is showing everyone that he or she doesn’t care about others, isn't qualified to drive, that the driver is more important than pedestrians and animals, that the driver does not care about the life of others or ever about the value of his/her own life and there maybe other reasons too---I cannot think of any others right now.

I remember years ago when I stopped at a light. In my van were both of my children and also a dear friend with her youngest child. I hesitated when the light turned green and my friend became quite aggravated at me for this short hesitation. No sooner had she begun to verbally express her dislike for my driving habits than a full-size semi, with two trailers in tow, came speeding through that intersection. I gasped in horror at how close I had come to listening to the urgings of my friend and she looked at me equally aghast; we both knew at that moment if I had listened to her request all five of us would have been killed. 

This habit of GREENING is very selfish and immature; I think it should be policed as tailgating, rage driving and even drivers on cell phone.

Complaints #11

This complaint really makes me outraged---drivers who use their cell phones while driving and most especially those who text while driving. If I can make all of my calls before I leave the parking garage at my school or before I leave my driveway at home then I think it is fair to believe that others can do the same. I often tell myself when I get in my car before making any call that by calling before I leave my driveway can save lives and especially my own. In case drivers did not know--- DRIVING IS A MULTI-TASK OPERATION! When drivers add other tasks to the driving experience, such as ---eating, drinking, conversations, cell phones, etc. then driving becomes more difficult to focus on and just one false move can be disastrous! Also there have been studies done that prove that using a cell phone decreases focus and concentration while driving but when texting on that cell phone the act then becomes worse than drinking alcohol with drugs while driving! There are drivers killed while texting and that is bad enough but they also kill others and another thing is that texting while driving is a terrible habit for anyone to engage in and not just for teenagers.

See article below:

Drivers on Cell Phones

Complaints #12

Cigarette smoke bothers me and this is not just because I have C.O.P.D. and asthmatic bronchitis which I do have. Cigarette smoke bothers me mostly because of all the toxic fumes that are contained within that smoke. These toxic fumes and chemical sears my nose and throat as I breath it in when I walk past smokers. I try to avoid such situations but there are times when I cannot avoid them, like when I walk out of a building and there the smoke is curling out from the side of the building. This is bad enough but I also have a problem with the litter most of them leave behind them. I have encountered much smoke and litter here on the I.U.P.U.I. campus and I have to say that the smokers here are terrible litterbugs. The entire campus is littered with cigarette butts everywhere and not just next to the buildings but also on sidewalks, the parking lots, in and around the flowerbeds, planters and tree beds and also on the grass, in and around the patios---everywhere smokers can get away with it there are cigarette butts to document smokers’ existences. I recently heard a smoking student, who had just thrown down his cigarette butt, complaining about stepping in Canadian goose poop. I thought to myself that he deserved his icky fate and what audacity he had to make such a statement; unlike cigarette butts, goose poop is completely biodegradable, very beneficial to plants and there are creatures which consume it. Before he threw his cigarette butt down he should have taken a gander (pun intended) at this article!

A Butts.